Illuminating information

How I found the silver lining of a stressful day

Today was a super stressful day for me on a lot of levels. That, combined with the subsequent stress eating that went into today, caused me to have one of the worst blood sugar control days I’ve had in a long time. Three weeks ago, I invested in a continuous glucose monitor. It sits on my upper arm and via a small needle, it measures the glucose in the interstitial fluid, a figure that is closely matches blood glucose, although not always exactly. It takes a measurement every minute and transmits the data to my phone via Bluetooth. Each one lasts 14 days, and then you have to replace it. To say that the data I’ve gotten from it has been illuminating is an understatement.

A little background - I have what a lot of people call “pre-diabetes.” It’s this nebulous stage of impaired glucose metabolism that usually precedes actual diabetes. It’s not surprising that I am saddled with this because I have gained a significant but not horrendous amount of weight in the years since the pandemic. Part of that was in direct response to the stress of the pandemic, part of it is just an aging metabolism, and a not insignificant part is forgetting that aging metabolism and thinking that I can eat like a 25 year-old when, at 53, I decidedly cannot. Alas, only a kid at heart I guess.

Anyway, ever since I got it, I’ve been pretty good about my eating and I’ve gotten to know my body a little better. I know about how much my glucose is going to spike after meals and how long it’s going to take me to recover. It’s the recovery that I have the most problem with, which is to be expected because the stage I’m in is one of “insulin resistance” - my cells can’t take the glucose in the presence of normal amounts of insulin so my pancreas spits out a whole crap ton of insulin to help the process. I know that something like a GLP-1 agonist (like Ozempic) would probably help me, but in order for my insurance to cover it, I have to have an actual diabetes diagnosis, and even then, it’ll still cost me $800 for three months worth so for now, I’m not really able to pursue that route.

But today I ate chocolate, got a breakfast sandwich from the cafeteria, and had potato chips with lunch when I don’t usually do any of those things any longer. And boy did my blood sugar let me know that wasn’t a smart move. It was elevated most of the day. Usually it hangs out around 90, but today I went through more peaks and valleys than I normally do, with the valleys never getting very low and the peaks being in the 160s and 170s. Then, when I came home and slept, it crashed down to below 55. Like I said, not good.

But it wasn’t all for nothing. If anything, it gave me a really good look at what I was doing to my body, day in and day out, before I got serious about this and decided to get better. And it reminded me of my own mortality. I don’t want to die anytime soon, and at my age, you have to own every aspect of your health. You can tell yourself lies and say that you can still do the things you did in your 20s and 30s as far as diet and exercise go, but they are lies nonetheless.

Speaking of mortality, lately when I have been watching an episode or two of The Twilight Zone at night, I always seem to look up the actors int he episode to see if they are still with us. Since the season I’m in aired 66 years ago, the vast majority of them have passed away. It just reminds me of the fact that we’re all young at some point, then we age, and then we die. And what we do with that span of time, regardless of our age, is what’s important. We don’t have to star in episodic television, only to be looked up by some nerdy guy nearly 70 years from now to make a difference, but it just makes me appreciate each phase of my life and the requisite challenges that go along with it.

So here’s to tomorrow being a better day on all levels. Now I think I’ll go watch The Twilight Zone.

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(btw, I have decided to do the last post in the best of 2025 song list. I have gotten so far as to list the songs in a draft post. Hopefully I will post that on Thursday. Thank you to everyone who encouraged me to complete the series.)